philosophical wondering by Sharon
Dealing with a difficult situation is something that happens to everyone, it is part of life. I have found that, it is how to deal with a difficult situation, that is more difficult sometimes than dealing with the situation (or problem). I have taken great time and effort and finding information on ways to deal with these situations. The interesting thing is that I keep coming back to the same basic principles, it is quite fascinating when you start looking at it, and realise that though it might sound simple, it is more difficult, and it takes personal determination, routine, and dedication to change your own habits and mindset.
I have found that rather than jump right in and try and solve (or attack, defend) the situation, it is better to walk away. Let it sit in your mind. Look at the different sides, without getting emotionally involved (not an easy thing to do, but practice makes perfect).
Look at things objectively, what can I control, and how can I exploit this negative situation to create a positive situation.
Out of all of these, I found the most difficult to be looking at things objectively, especially if the situation directly involves you. It is more difficult to step away and look at another viewpoint. It is not impossible; it is just difficult, but can be done. I have many times in the last couple of months used this to help me wrap my head around something that seemed very emotionally upsetting and found that it worked great, and I could make or change the way I approached the situation.
I have made it a habit each morning to remind myself, as I am busy waking up, that ‘today there will be many things that will be out of my control, but I can still control how I react to these things’. I sometimes have to remind myself a few times during the day of the same thing. It gives me the mental check to know that I am not at the centre of the universe and that the world it not out to get me, as it sometimes feels like that when you get overwhelmed.
I am also finding it easier to then see a way of taking the situation and turning it around, or try and find the growth path, exploiting the negative to find a positive.
Amor Fati (Love fate, love the challenge & let it grow learning). This has become my mantra in a way. If you look at the phrase, let it sink in, then you quickly realise it is true. Don’t let a challenge defeat you, make you negative or keep you down. Use it as a lesson, let is teach you and make you stronger and wiser. Let it be a fire that feeds your fire.
I want to end by sharing some wisdom from the philosopher Rocky Balboa:
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you an get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth than go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody!
Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”
“Reality is often different from your mental image. It’s not always easy to deal with. No matter how smart or how cautious you are, reality always find a way to hit you in the head with a brick.”
“Rather than getting upset over what you cannot control, focus on what you can control. Devise a strategy to deal with the situation.”
“To influence, you have to persuade. To persuade, you have to empathise. To empathise, you have to know. And to know, you have to observe things objectively.”
Quotes I found reading a piece written by: Abhishek Chakraborty